Communication: The Key to the Holy Relationship by Nick Kemp | A ...

I was introduced to the Course in 1988 in response to the prayer: ?What is the solution to stress?? I abandoned all my previous studies and became totally absorbed into studying and teaching ACIM. I completed the Workbook and was very glad to have done so.

While working through the Course, I remember thinking that I wanted a Holy Relationship with my wife, and felt saddened and frustrated that she wasn?t at all interested in ACIM. Our relationship had always been very difficult, but I loved her deeply, and we soldiered on. Most of the time I felt very happy and loving to all I encountered, but it seemed that everything I said or did was wrong in my wife?s eyes. I kept on seeing these attacks as calls for love, but it was so relentless.

Things deteriorated between us and when our external circumstances became extremely difficult as well, we decided to split up. Our three children lived with my wife, while I visited and took them out at the weekends. This was obviously a very stressful period of our lives, but it wasn?t until then that I came to appreciate what is really meant by the ?special relationship? talked about in the Course.

As our lives gradually disentangled, I could clearly see how hidden manipulations and bargains played a large part in our relationship. I could see how I had taken her for granted, and how I had done very little to improve things. In retrospect, I could see that I played too much of a passive role in the name of ?keeping the peace,? while just hoping she was going to change. What I wasn?t doing was communicating. I wasn?t expressing my love in real terms. We never really talked things through, as she would get angry and I didn?t like her anger.

Meanwhile, my own anger was hidden and denied.

It is said that anger is love unexpressed and I can really see that now. I am not suggesting anger is justified in any way, but I have found it extremely important to be honest with myself, and to acknowledge what emotions I am feeling. I have discovered that it is possible for me to express myself from my ?Right Mind? or, in other words, to allow the Holy Spirit to speak for me. After all, that is the Christ within me, my divinity.

I have learned that my only real guide is how I feel. If I feel clear of emotion and therefore at peace, without tension in my stomach or chest area, I can trust that I am coming from my Right mind.

What the Course says can be misinterpreted in millions of different ways. God knows, I must have done them all !

Being real, expressing ourselves from our Divinity, even though it may upset another ego, is the challenge of the special relationship. It is how it can become the Holy Relationship, even though it may ?appear? that our openness is not reciprocated. Being open, undefended and direct are Christ-qualities. The idea is to let God come through us, and let God be concerned about the consequences, as only He can see the Whole Plan.

I think that we all need special relationships in order to practice being in Holy Relationships. So don?t hold back, let love express itself through you, without your judgement, concepts or beliefs getting in the way.

?Teach only love for that is what you are.?

(T87/94).

Reproduced with permission from Ian Patrick of the Miracle Network UK (http://www.miracles.org.uk/), from Issue 4 of the Miracle Worker

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Source: http://acimexplained.com/blog/2012/07/communication-the-key-to-the-holy-relationship-by-nick-kemp/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=communication-the-key-to-the-holy-relationship-by-nick-kemp

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